The True Heir
by Project Balrog
Summary: Currently features: Tarou, Kasumi, and Hinako. More underused characters to follow...
1. Chapter one

The True Heir  
  
A Ranma 1/2 story by -  
  
Project Balrog Productions  
  
Oh yeah, just in case you didn't know, there are a whole  
bunch of people who own the rights to these characters and I  
am not one of them.  
  
I use the following symbols on occasion. I might have a  
system, but I don't know what it is. Anyway, they mean  
something. Maybe.  
  
[ ]  
( )  
  
{}  
  
Episode 1 - "Insert Standard Opening Episode Here..."  
  
[The streets of Nerima. A light rain is falling, and the  
street is mostly empty. Most people are willing to delay  
their tasks for drier weather. Two notable exceptions are  
present, both walking briskly down the center of the road.  
Their forms are completely obscured by heavy, green, hooded  
cloaks.]  
  
A voice comes from within the smaller cloak. It's a young  
man's voice, and it carries a tone of bitter anger.  
  
"This is a hell of a time to tell me I'm getting married old  
man." He growls, "At least now I know the other reason you  
were so eager to get us out of China."  
  
The larger figure chuckles.  
  
"Heh, calm down boy, we couldn't have stayed anyway. And it  
isn't like there was anything there for us in the first  
place. Besides, Tendo is an old training partner of mine  
and I'm sure his daughters aren't weak little flowers.  
You'll like them."  
  
The boy's shoulders seem to slump a little.  
  
"I don't know why you're so dead set on fulfilling this  
promise. None of the others seem to have struck you as  
important."  
  
"We do what we have to son, it's the prime tenet of our  
school. The same school that Tendo practices. Remember  
that you're more than just my heir, you're the heir to  
the entire Anything Goes style."  
  
His son snorts, "Oh I don't mind uniting the schools old  
man. It's that little detail of free will that concerns me.  
I'm not exactly happy about having my dating options  
narrowed from several billion to however many daughters this  
friend of yours has."  
  
"You don't need to be happy about it now boy. That'll come  
later. You'll learn to love your wife. I did."  
  
The boy starts to laugh. It's a quiet chuckle at first, but  
soon he has to stop walking to keep from collapsing. It  
takes him a minute to calm down enough to talk again.  
  
"Heh heh... That explains a lot old man. snort I always  
knew mom was way out of your league..."

* * *

[Across town in a house on a rather large and well kept  
piece of property, there's another conversation going on. A  
man who looks young enough to be in his thirties is seated  
across from three young women, all in their teens.]  
  
The youngest of them, a cute girl with long black hair  
dressed in a gi, speaks up first. She's a bit irate. It  
shows.  
  
"How could you do this to us daddy? For all we know this  
boy could be some sort of pervert!"  
  
The middle sister, equally attractive with brown hair in a  
page-boy cut and wearing a kimono, chimed in. She's not  
angry, but seems both intrigued and calculating at the same  
time. There's a hint of anticipation in her voice.  
  
"I hope he's cute."  
  
Finally, predictably, is the oldest. Where the other two  
are cute, this one is beautiful, a difference that has more  
to do with age and attitude than pure appearance. She's  
wearing a simple dress and blouse, has her long brown hair  
in a ponytail, and gives off the image of a young housewife.  
When she speaks, it's quietly and calmly.  
  
"Oh my, I hope he's older than me. Younger men are so...  
boring."  
  
Their father takes a drag on his cigarette before answering.  
His thick mustache seems to twitch in the hint of a smile.  
  
"I don't know. I've never met him."  
  
This is clearly not what his daughters were expecting. The  
youngest is red from anger, and seems incapable of speech.  
The middle daughter is visibly irritated and is on the edge  
of chewing him out. The oldest still appears calm, but is  
wearing a definite frown.  
  
"Honestly Daddy, Akane's right." The middle daughter speaks  
up, "You don't know anything about him. How do you know  
that he isn't a pervert, or worse?"  
  
"Now Nabiki, be nice, just because we don't know him is no  
reason to make accusations. He could very well be a nice  
young man."  
  
"If he's so nice, then why don't you marry him Kasumi? I  
don't feel like walking in to something like this blind."  
  
"But..."  
  
Before Kasumi could finish, their father broke in again.  
  
"That may very well be the best solution. It was the  
original agreement, after all. If I remember right, young  
Tarou was adopted just a few weeks before Kasumi was born."  
  
"But father..."  
  
"Now Kasumi, there's no reason to worry. Saotome and his  
wife promised our... ahem... well they promised on their  
honor to raise Tarou to be a fitting heir to the Anything  
Goes tradition. I'm sure that he's a fine upstanding young  
man."  
  
"But what about..."  
  
"I had thought to leave the choice up to Tarou," he  
continued, "but it seems obvious that that Kasumi is the  
best choice. Why think daughter, he's even older than you,  
just like you wanted. Ah, the heavens surely shine down  
upon this blessed union of our families."  
  
"But I don't..."  
  
This time, for a change, she isn't interrupted by her  
father. Instead she's interrupted by the sound of someone  
knocking at their door.  
  
Nabiki, ever helpful, rises to her feet.  
  
"Kasumi, aren't you excited? That must be your fiance now.  
I'll go get him for you."  
  
Surely, Kasumi thought in a daze, Nabiki couldn't have been  
wearing a malicious smirk while she said that.  
  
She didn't have too much time to wonder though. It was only  
a few seconds before Nabiki returned, with two cloaked  
figures following her.  
  
The narrower figure pulled back its hood.  
  
Inside was a face that was attractive enough to be almost  
effeminate. He has a distinctly chinese cast to his  
features, emphasized by his sharp, angular brown eyes. His  
long black hair is pulled back into a single thick braid.  
He's wearing a pair of simple golden hoop earrings.  
  
"I'm Saotome Tarou, sorry about this."

* * *

{Commercial Break}  
  
[The screen shows Pantyhose Tarou as he appears in the  
Manga, complete with his trademark dragonscale vest and  
bracers and his pantyhose sash. He's standing on top of the  
fortress he uses when he kidnaps Akane. It's sunrise and  
his pantyhose sash is fluttering behind him in the breeze.]  
  
[The camera zooms in on his chest, showing the vest in  
detail]  
  
[The logo for the official Jusenkyo Dragonscale apparel line  
flashes onto the screen]  
  
"Dragonscale" The male voice is strong and dignified.  
  
"No other line of clothing is so perfectly suited for the  
wandering martial artist."  
  
"Whether you're hiking through the wilderness."  
  
[Tarou leaping effortlessly up a mountain, a heavy pack on  
his back]  
  
"Hunting for an old enemy."  
  
[Standing at the entrance of the Tendo Dojo, casually  
tossing a kettle to the side, the Tendos are cowering away  
from him]  
  
"Or just beating the snot out of girly little fem-boys"  
  
[A scene of Tarou's first fight with Ranma, Ranma jumps in  
to attack, but Tarou casually kicks him in the face, smiling  
the whole time]  
  
"No other material is this durable,"  
  
[Tarou transforms into his monster form, his clothing is  
shredded completely. Seconds later, he shifts back, and his  
clothing is mysteriously unharmed]  
  
"this fashionable"  
  
[A close-up of Tarou's face, with the top of the vest  
showing. Soft pink light is filtering down from above, and  
he appears to be surrounded by a halo of flowers. A young  
girl's voice can be heard saying "Kakkoi"] ()  
  
"or this recognizable"  
  
[Tarou is walking away. Akane and Ranko are watching him  
leave. A badly done voice over has them gossiping about  
that fabulous dragonscale he's wearing and how they wish  
that everyone had such great fashion sense.]  
  
"Be the be the envy of your friends by being the first one  
in your Wrecking Crew to buy our exclusive Jusenkyo  
Dragonscale Vest today!"  
  
[Tarou is sitting in the Cat Cafe, tied to his chair. Most  
of the cast is sitting around glaring at him. He has his  
head turned away contemptuously and a smirk on his face.]  
  
"Order now and the bracers are free!"  
  
[A phone number and ordering information appears on the  
screen. The screen fades to black]  
  
{End Commercial Break}

* * *

() - Kakkoi, for those of you who don't know, is what Tarou  
wanted to change his name to. It's typically translated in  
fanfiction as meaning 'Cool'. From what my sister-in-law,  
who's a Japanese major, tells me this is almost but not  
quite correct. It does mean cool, in the sense that a  
thirteen-year-old girl would use the word to describe an  
attractive boy, and pretty much exclusively in that sense.  
  
So that means that those of you who like to wander into  
comicbook shops and drool over Gundam Wing figurines and  
mutter 'Kakkoi' under your breath shouldn't be too surprised  
if anyone who really speaks Japanese in the area stares at  
you oddly before edging away quietly. Or they might just  
shake their heads and call you a moron. So by all means, if  
what you really mean is that you want that six inch tall  
plastic model to come to life and sweep you up off your feet  
for a life of storybook romance, keep it up.  
  
In any case, I have no intention of ever using any Japanese  
words in the story itself. I don't speak Japanese, I don't  
write Japanese, this isn't the Japanese alphabet that you're  
reading in the first place, and I don't intend to get into  
pointless arguments about the proper spelling of what are by  
necessity phonetic words or whether or not '-chan' is an  
appropriate way of designating gender. If I do include a  
word, It'll probably be as part of a bad joke like this one  
was, and will include a needlessly long explanation shortly  
after. - ()

* * *

[Back in the Tendo home, everyone is seated around a low  
table sipping tea. Tarou and the other figure are both  
uncloaked now. Tarou is wearing a version of Ranma's  
traditional outfit, but with a green shirt in place of red.  
He's long-limbed and slender, adding even more to his  
effeminate appearance. The other figure is a heavyset  
middle-aged man in a white gi wearing glasses and a white  
bandana over his head. The Tendo family is sitting across  
from them, and they are unchanged from their earlier  
appearance.]  
  
"These are my daughters," Mr. Tendo says, "Kasumi is 19,  
Nabiki is 17, and Akane is 16. Kasumi will be your fiancee"  
  
Tarou snorts and raises his head to look Mr. Tendo in the  
eye.  
  
"I'm glad we've finally decided to get rid of any illusion  
of choice. I'd hate to think I actually have some measure  
of control over my life."  
  
Tendo starts to respond, but Tarou cuts him off.  
  
"Tell me, did you give your daughters any say in this? Or  
any warning? Or did you decide to do the same thing as my  
father and not even mention this until today?"  
  
He turns and looks at Kasumi for a second. She can't quite  
meet his gaze.  
  
"That's what I thought."  
  
He turns back to Mr. Tendo.  
  
"I want you to know that I don't like this. I didn't expect  
my life to be planned out for me. The only reason I don't  
leave now is that I know what my mother's reaction would be.  
If Kasumi is willing, I'll give this a try, but that's all  
I'm willing to promise."  
  
He glares at his father.  
  
"And before she makes her choice, she needs to know about my  
curse."  
  
Everyone in the room except Genma and Soun turns to stare at  
Tarou.  
  
"Curse?" Nabiki whispers, "Daddy, what is he talking about?"   
Kasumi nods along with her sister and turns her gaze to  
their father. Akane simply continues glaring.  
  
Soun turns to Genma, "Saotome, I thought you were going to  
remove the boy's curse. You don't mean that after 19 years  
you still haven't found a cure."  
  
Genma shakes his head. "It isn't that simple my friend. We  
discovered the source of the enchantment less than a month  
ago. As part of our training were in a valley bearing the  
name Jusenkyo..."

* * *

[The scene dissolves in the standard flashback manner,  
reopening in the valley of Jusenkyo with Tarou and Genma  
both wearing white training gis and preparing to fight.]  
  
Genma leaps first, landing lightly on top of a fifteen-foot  
bamboo pole emerging from the center of a small spring.  
Tarou is quick to follow, and the two face off.  
  
"I don't see what is so special about this place Oyaji, we  
can do balance training anywhere."  
  
"Maybe so boy, but we might as well make the best of it.  
Besides, with all this water this is the perfect place to  
train your other body. I don't like some of the bad habits  
you've been picking up lately. Your size won't always be  
enough to cover stupid mistakes."  
  
"Less talk more fight old man."  
  
With that, Tarou launches a flying kick at his father. The  
old man takes to the air to meet him and the fight is on.  
The two spend a good amount of time trading blows, always  
managing to land safely on one of the poles. Both are doing  
quite well, Tarou has the advantage in speed but his father  
holds the edge in strength and endurance.  
  
As the fight progresses, Genma's experience shows. Tarou is  
every bit as skilled as his father if not more so, but is  
steadily losing ground to Genma's trickery. Still the fight  
would probably have lasted a full hour if not for the  
appearance of the guide.  
  
"Stupid Customers, is very bad you fall in springs!" the  
portly man in a green Mao suit yells out.  
  
His shout catches the fighters by surprise and Tarou misses  
his landing completely, falling into one of the many pools.  
  
Genma watches in horror as the pool starts to boil, "Oh  
shit, the boy's going to be pissed now."  
  
The spring explodes in a geyser as Tarou emerges,  
transformed into 23 feet of winged minotaur complete with  
tentacles.  
  
Genma's eyes widen at the sight of the tentacles, "Wait a  
second, those weren't there before."  
  
He has no time to comment further as his son swats him off  
his pole with one man-sized hand. He goes flying towards a  
pool a full hundred feet away.  
  
"Hey, that's not what that pool is supposed to do." the  
Jusenkyo guide mutters in confusion.  
  
Tarou ignores the guide as he flies off to rescue his  
father. He makes a point of ignoring the tentacles trailing  
off his own back.  
  
(After all, if it can't possibly be happening, it obviously  
isn't.)  
  
The guide runs after him eager to inform the pair of their  
dire fates.  
  
Genma was not having a good day. He had traveled with his  
son to this 'Legendary Cursed Training Ground' in the hopes  
of finding something evil and powerful enough to give his  
son a decent challenge. Instead they found this place. Now  
something has changed his son's curse, and he himself is  
about to take a swim in yet another of these suddenly  
ominous springs.  
  
Genma's flight takes him over the spring of drowned Panda,  
past the spring of the drowned virtuous man, well clear of  
the spring of drowned wise-martial-arts-instructor, and  
directly into the pole above the spring of the drowned  
Gorilla.  
  
He manages to cling to the pole desperately as it bends,  
unfortunately the stress is too much and the bamboo snaps.  
He falls into the pool with a splash just as Tarou touches  
down nearby. The guide is close behind.  
  
"Oh so sorry sirs, is most unfortunate you fall in springs"  
the guide says finally with a self-satisfied smile.  
  
He turns first to Genma who is dragging his 500 pound black  
furred bulk out of the spring.  
  
"You fall into spring of drowned Gorilla, is very tragic  
story of visiting circus to nearby village who lost entire  
menagerie three years ago. Now whenever you are doused with  
cold water you will turn into Gorilla."  
  
As the guide talks, Tarou seems to reach within his fur and  
pulls out a flask from which steam is rising. He first  
splashes himself and then throws the rest of the water at  
his father who also returns to his own form. He blurs into  
motion for a second, and is when he can be seen again, he's  
fully dressed.  
  
Ignoring the guide, whose jaw seems to have unhinged, he  
turns to his father who is re-adjusting his now torn gi.  
  
"Well Oyaji, it seems like we finally found out where I got  
my curse from. Maybe this guy knows a cure."  
  
The guide cheers up as realizes he actually has an attentive  
audience again.  
  
"Ah, young customer must have already visited Jusenkyo. You  
know already that hot water returns you to your original  
form, but only temporarily. There is only one permanent  
cure for Jusenkyo curse. Allow me to explain."  
  
"Most springs are not strong, and when victim falls in  
stronger spring, curse is replaced with curse of new spring.  
So for most men who are cursed they must only swim in the  
spring of drowned man to be cured..."  
  
He gestures away in the direction of the spring of drowned  
man.  
  
"...but young customer is cursed with strongest curse in all  
Jusenkyo. The spring of drowned yeti riding an ox holding  
eel and crane is very odd spring. Any who are cursed in  
this spring simply make curse stronger if they fall in other  
spring. That is why when you fall in spring of drowned  
Giant Octopus you grow tentacles. Only other spring in  
valley that always mixes curses is spring of drowned twins."  
  
Tarou listens carefully to the explanation, so neither he  
nor the guide notice that Genma has disappeared.  
  
Now, which spring did he point at? Genma thought as he ran  
through the valley. Aha, there!  
  
He flings himself at the spring just as the guide notices  
what he is doing.  
  
"Nooo! Is very stupid customer!", the guide screams, "Is  
too soon, and that not even right spring!"  
  
Genma doesn't hear however, and plunges beneath the water.  
  
"So, what's gonna happen to the old man?", Tarou asks in a  
dazed voice as he and the guide head towards Genma's  
location.  
  
"Is much to soon, only after curse has been with victim for  
nearly a year is it weak enough to be replaced."  
  
The guide sighs in frustration.  
  
"I was about to tell you that when he jumped in. And that  
not even spring of drowned man, is spring of drowned  
Saber-tooth tiger. Now he is like you, mix of two curses  
can never be cured, only made worse."  
  
The hulking beast that emerges from the pool hears the  
guide's words and howls in sorrow at its own stupidity.

* * *

[The flashback fades away and we return to the Tendo Dojo.  
Tarou is still there, but seems to be eager to leave. The  
entire Tendo family appears to be in shock.]  
  
"You expect us to believe that?", Nabiki says as she  
recovers. "Magic curses that change your shape when you get  
wet, sure. Right." She shakes her head and turns to her  
father "Daddy, I think your friends have lost their minds."  
  
Kasumi is the next to recover, and she speaks before Tarou  
can reply.  
  
"Now Nabiki, it isn't nice to call our guests insane. I'm  
sure Father's friends have a perfectly good reason for  
telling that story. And after all, it was entertaining."  
  
Tarou shakes his head and looks away, disgusted but not  
truly surprised at being thought a liar by his new 'fiance'.  
He begins to grin evilly and walks into the back yard of the  
Tendo property. His father begins to go after him but then  
laughs and nods.  
  
Soun faces his daughters all of whom are watching their  
young guest.  
  
"Now I know it's hard to believe, but I assure you...", He  
trails off as he realizes his daughters have stopped  
listening to him, their faces are pale and they are shaking  
in fear.  
  
"MOOOOO!"  
  
Soun whips his head to the side and sees... Tarou.  
  
Standing in his back yard, and looking a tad irritated is 23  
feet and several tons of shaggy brown furred beef in the  
shape of a yeti complete with the wings of a crane, an eel  
for a tail, and eight tentacles from a giant octopus.  
  
While Soun had seen Tarou's cursed form when he was just a  
calf, Tarou's current shape is more than a little  
intimidating to say the least.  
  
Kasumi stands up and walks calmly into the house. At the  
same time, Nabiki recovers and grinning leans over to  
whisper in Akane's ear.  
  
"Gee, I wonder what he plans on using those tentacles for?",  
she whispers innocently.  
  
(Just try reading the manga and telling me she wouldn't say  
something to cause trouble)  
  
Akane's face slowly turns from white to green and then  
settles on an angry red. She stands up to face the  
mega-pervert she has been having nightmares of for the last  
several years, only to be cut off as Kasumi walks calmly by  
carrying a teakettle.  
  
"I hope this is hot enough Tarou", Kasumi says politely as  
she offers him the kettle.  
  
He accepts the offer and rumbles loudly, making a sound  
almost like laughter.  
  
He pours the water over his head and his form blurs as he  
returns to his usual size, surprisingly, he's dressed when  
the transformation ends.  
  
"Thank you Kasumi-chan.", He shakes his head, "Nineteen  
years, and the only progress I've made with this curse is  
learning how to save my clothes. At least Oyaji still  
mostly fits in his."  
  
Soun walks out to where Tarou and Kasumi are standing.  
  
"Well son, I guess your curse isn't that bad. And you and  
Kasumi are getting along already, is tomorrow too soon for  
the wedding?"  
  
"Tendo-san," Tarou sighs shaking his head, "I don't think  
you understand. I doubt she wants to marry a demon, and in  
any case I refuse to marry someone I just met."  
  
He sighs again, "I'm about to start college. I'm too young  
to be married and I will not force myself on a girl who  
doesn't love me."  
  
He starts to turn away.  
  
"I'm leaving now."  
  
(And so Tarou walked out of the Tendo home and on to live a  
happy but relatively boring life away from Nerima. Oh  
wait... wrong story. Here's what really happened.)  
  
"I challenge you!"  
  
Akane had been waiting patiently. She sat quietly through  
the monster's obvious pack of lies. She stood back and did  
nothing to interfere as the mega-pervert flirted with her  
innocent older sister. Now she was going to do her duty as  
a martial artist and vanquish the very embodiment of EVIL.  
  
Tarou didn't bother looking at her, "I don't want to hurt  
you little girl. Why don't you go play with your dolls."  
  
(You know, that probably was not the best thing to say at  
the time.)  
  
"What kind of &$%ing coward are you?"  
  
Kasumi most definitely did not approve of Akane's language.  
Not that Akane often stopped to consider her sister's  
approval.  
  
"I'm not going to stand back and let you stay here and force  
your perversions on my sister!"  
  
(Akane had waited patiently through the lies, but hadn't  
actually listened to them, and so she didn't actually  
realize that Tarou was trying to leave. Oh well. Too late  
now.)  
  
Tarou slowly turned to face Akane. His voice went cold,  
"Lead the way."  
  
The two of them head for the Dojo, ignoring the attempts of  
everyone around them to calm them down.  
  
The End, for now.

* * *

This idea has been nagging at me since I first ran across  
the 'Altered Destiny' stories. I didn't really accept the  
logic for the initial setup in most cases. To me, it makes  
no sense that Genma would actually go through with a plan  
that leaves his son in Soun's hands while he's training  
Kasumi for example. Don't get me wrong, I think those  
stories are pretty good, but the starting point is a little weak  
from my point of view.  
  
'Switching Heirs' was the exception to that rule. I can  
see Genma keeping a promise he made to Happosai to train  
someone else. Ukyou was an interesting choice. But come  
on, Tarou's his godchild. If Happosai is going to make a  
child his heir, it makes more sense for it to be family.  
  
The question, I suppose, is where exactly is Ranma during  
all of this?  
  
The real reason I'm writing this is to explore some of my  
favorite characters in greater depth. I tend to like the  
characters that don't get too much attention, so don't go  
expecting to see a lot of Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, Ryouga,  
etc..  
  
Outside of Tarou, who had a completely different childhood,  
I don't intend to change anyone's personality. They'll  
grow with the story, but the base will be the same. Even  
Tarou is meant to reflect his original personality in many  
ways.  
  
This first chapter contains a splicing of three separate  
stories that I wrote at different times. It might not  
flow as smoothly as it should because of that. In another  
two chapters or so, I'll run out of related material to  
paste in, except for flashbacks. I wrote about 60% of  
this today, so if I'm motivated enough I might be able to  
do weekly updates or some nonsense like that.  
  
Feel free to review, or to email me, but I'm writing for  
my own enjoyment, and as a mental exercise. Don't expect  
to influence the direction of the story with your review  
or your whining. Grammar and style critique would be  
appreciated. Pointing out logical problems within the  
story would be nice too. Keep in mind that I have no  
intention of telling you everything outright though, so  
some of what you don't understand you aren't meant to.  
  
-Project Balrog  
projectbalroghotmail.com  
  
Something I'd like to toss out there.  
  
In Tarou's last appearance in the Manga, he's fighting Rouge  
in the air. She blasts him with one of her magical attacks  
and sends him plummeting into the Tendo family's bathroom.  
He, of course, lands in the bathtub and transforms into a  
human.  
  
When it happens, Kasumi immediately gets up and runs into  
the house, saying "Oh my, I'd better go tidy up the bathroom  
now..."  
  
Now is this a 'Kasumi the ditz' moment? Or, since if she  
isn't a ditz she had to know that he'd be naked in there, is  
it the only 'Kasumi the pervert' moment in the manga?  
  
Just a thought.  
  



	2. Chapter two

The True Heir  
  
A Ranma 1/2 story by -  
  
Project Balrog Productions  
  
Oh yeah, just in case you didn't know, there are a whole  
bunch of people who own the rights to these characters and I  
am not one of them.  
  
I use the following symbols on occasion. I might have a  
system, but I don't know what it is. Anyway, they mean  
something. Maybe.  
  
[ ]  
( )  
  
{}  
  
Episode 2 - "I'm not sorry about this..."  
  
[Inside the Tendo Dojo. Tarou and Akane are facing off from  
opposite ends of the Dojo. Tarou has his arms crossed over  
his chest and a bored expression on his face. Akane's  
bleeding off an aura of anger as she goes through a few  
warm-up exercises. The rest of the family is standing to one  
side near the entrance, watching nervously.]  
  
Tarou fakes a yawn, loudly.  
  
"Are we going to fight anytime soon? Or is this a posing  
contest?"  
  
"Shut up! I'm almost ready."  
  
"Eh, don't rush yourself. I wouldn't want you to tear a  
muscle or something. I'll just be over there, taking  
advantage of your helpless, innocent older sister..."  
  
Akane cuts her warm-up short and stomps over to Tarou.  
  
"Shut up you perverted foreigner! It's time to fight!"  
  
Tarou looks her over slowly and deliberately. A smirk forms  
on his face.  
  
"So you're ready now? I couldn't tell the difference."  
  
Akane just growls as she gets into a ready stance. After a  
few seconds it's obvious that Tarou isn't going to bother  
getting into a stance of his own. She gets even angrier, and  
the wood at her feet begins to emit wisps of smoke.  
  
With a wordless snarl, she charges him. She's attacking with  
everything she has, doing her best to keep him off balance so  
she can win quickly.  
  
Tarou smiles openly as he begins to deflect her punches with  
one hand.  
  
"You know," he says in a conversational tone of voice, "you're  
actually not half bad at this. I've met lots of martial  
artists who aren't anywhere near strong as you are."  
  
"Of course, most of them don't leave half as many openings as  
you do."  
  
Whether or not Akane actually hears him is debatable. It's  
also not too terribly important, as the fist he plants in her  
face almost certainly gets his point across.  
  
She's lifted off her feet, and lands in a crumpled mess a few  
feet away.  
  
Tarou ignores the protests coming from their audience, and  
simply stands in place crossing his arms again. He's smiling  
almost from ear to ear.  
  
It's only a second before Akane gets back to her feet. She  
wipes a bit of blood from the corner of her mouth before  
glaring at Tarou.  
  
"You bastard. I wasn't ready."  
  
Tarou arches an eyebrow, still smiling.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. That was my fault I guess. I should have  
told you that I'd be hitting back. You'll be ready now,  
right?"  
  
Akane charges in again. This time she's more focused and  
being careful to avoid making the same mistake as before.   
  
He kicks her in the ribs.  
  
She falls down again.  
  
When she gets up, she has some harsh words for him.  
  
He apologizes insincerely and smiles even broader, chuckling  
occasionally.  
  
A pattern forms.  
  
She attacks.  
  
He responds.  
  
She falls down.  
  
Lather, rinse, repeat.  
  
After a half hour, she can't get up any more.  
  
Through all of this the Tendo family watches, quietly  
horrified.  
  
No one says anything as Tarou glares at the two fathers before  
walking out of the Dojo.  
  
Finally, after he's gone, Genma speaks up.  
  
"He'll be back. The boy has too much honor for his own good."

* * *

[During the fight, among the audience]  
  
The first time Tarou strikes Akane, Soun is about to leap in  
yelling protests. Genma stops him with a restraining hand.  
  
In response, Soun turns on Genma with his full Demon Head  
technique.  
  
"Saotome! What is your son doing?"  
  
When Genma responds, it's in a quiet whisper that manages to  
fully grab the attentions of Soun, Nabiki, and Kasumi.  
  
"He's restraining himself admirably."  
  
"What?"  
  
Genma shakes his head.  
  
"You've seen what he turns into. Akane's not the first to  
assume that he's some sort of monster. He's been dealing with  
unjustified attacks and murder attempts since he was six years  
old."  
  
Soun has tears streaming down his face.  
  
"But Akane's just a girl... How could you teach your son to  
fight girls? They're weak and helpless! It's a martial  
artists duty to protect them."  
  
Both Nabiki and Kasumi glare at him briefly, but no one  
notices.  
  
"Tell me something Soun. When was the last time you even  
heard of a male devil hunter in Japan?"  
  
Soun looks puzzled.  
  
"If Tarou wasn't willing to fight girls, he'd be dead by the  
end of the month."  
  
Kasumi gasps quietly.  
  
"But she's my little girl!"  
  
"And she'll be fine. Tarou doesn't kill people, and he  
doesn't cripple. All he's doing is teaching her about the  
holes in her defense and that she's no match for him. She  
can stop it any time she wants, you'll notice he isn't  
allowing himself to take the offensive."  
  
"All she'll have is bruises, by this time tomorrow she'll be  
as good as new."

* * *

[Out in the streets of Nerima. Tarou is talking into a  
payphone.]  
  
"...so this one's actually real?"  
  
"...yeah Mom, I understand, family honor and everything."  
  
"You sure I can't pass this off on Ranma?"  
  
"What do you mean other plans? Never mind, I don't care, but I  
hope for his sake it isn't that white lily brat you had him  
dating last time."  
  
"She's a psycho mom. Her and her friends too."  
  
"No, I'm not being melodramatic. Look, I shouldn't have even  
asked, that's Ranma's problem. I'm just saying that unless  
you want him to disown himself you'll at least consider  
someone else."  
  
"Well I don't know, how about that cross-dresser he's always  
hanging out with. She might be a little odd, but at least  
they get along."  
  
"Oh come on, he has to have figured it out by now. She's  
always coming on to him after all."  
  
"Well yeah, I suppose. If he were gay. Otherwise he'd need  
to be completely oblivious. You sure he doesn't really know?   
He isn't too subtle but the two of them might be fooling  
around and hiding it."  
  
"You don't have to sound so proud mom."  
  
"Yes mom."  
  
"That's none of your business mom."  
  
"How could I, I just met her today."  
  
"Well, your confidence is inspiring..."  
  
"...I don't know, I just met her. We haven't even spoken two  
words to each other yet."  
  
"...her family? ...I guess... Well their dad seems a little  
emotional. I really didn't get much of a chance to get to  
know them what with the fight and all.  
  
He winces and holds the receiver away from his ear.  
  
"...aw c'mon mom, it wasn't that big of a deal. The youngest  
one got all upset when I showed them my curse and decided to  
pick a fight."  
  
"No, I didn't hurt her too bad."  
  
"Tell that to that stupid V-chick that keeps harassing me.  
She was the one who picked the fight. All I did was accept  
her challenge."  
  
"but..."  
  
"...well maybe..."  
  
"...alright, fine, but it isn't going to do any good."  
  
"Of course I'm sure, she's a whiny little immature tomboy.  
She's probably getting ready to challenge me again as soon as  
I get back."  
  
"...yeah mom, I'll try."  
  
"...I know."  
  
"I was wondering when you'd get back to the engagement bit."  
  
"...her name's Kasumi."  
  
"Well, actually, yeah she is pretty cute. Kinda looks like a  
housewife-in-training though."  
  
"Nothing mom, there's absolutely nothing wrong with  
housewives!"  
  
"...Wedding?! Isn't it a bit soon for that?"  
  
"I know what an engagement is for!"  
  
"Well I was kind of hoping to know a little bit more about my  
wife than her name and what her face looks like!"  
  
"...sorry mom."  
  
"Feh! Knowing pops, he'll probably try for this weekend."  
  
"Well sure... if you want me to change my name and move to  
America."  
  
"Of course I care about our family! I'm not going to spend  
the rest of my life married to someone who resents me though."  
  
"...fine!"  
  
"I'll try mom, honestly. I'll give it a year, if she's  
willing then, I'll go through with it."  
  
"No mom, I still don't like this."  
  
"No, I won't take it out on her."  
  
"Yes mom."  
  
"I love you too mom."  
  
"Bye mom."  
  
Tarou sighs heavily. It looks as though it's taking all of  
his willpower to not crush the telephone receiver in his  
hand.

* * *

[That night, in Kasumi's room. She's wearing a nightgown and  
preparing to go to sleep. She looks as though she's trying  
not to cry.]  
  
Kasumi looks at herself in the mirror and sighs. Today has  
been a little overwhelming to say the least.  
  
She climbs into bed, but clearly isn't ready for sleep yet.  
  
"I've never even been on a date once." She thinks to herself,  
"Between school and housework, I never really had the time.   
And even if I did, none of the boys my age would ever ask me  
out. There was only one boy who ever tried to ask me on a  
date when I was in high school, but he was that Tatewaki boy  
in Nabiki's class and he is more than a little... odd."  
  
"And now that I've graduated, I hardly ever leave the house.  
Even if I did, I wouldn't know how to start a relationship."  
  
"I guess it's a little silly of me, but when father told me  
that one of us would be getting engaged today I was excited.  
I know it's old-fashioned, but I've been worried for a while  
that without some sort of arrangement I would never get  
married."  
  
"In my dreams, it was always with someone more like Dr. Tofu.  
Younger than that, but someone mature and kind. Someone who  
is educated. Someone I can talk to. Someone I can share my  
life with, who understands me."  
  
"Now I'm afraid that I'll be trapped in a marriage with a  
violent, rude, inconsiderate, and uneducated man."  
  
"That horrible curse of his seems almost unimportant compared  
to his personality."  
  
"He enjoyed hurting Akane. I know what Mr. Saotome said,  
but even if he was justified in his actions, how could he take  
pleasure in hurting someone weaker than him?"  
  
"Father will insist that one of us marry him. It's a matter  
of honor. After today, there's no way I can pass him off to  
Akane. And even if he is attractive enough for Nabiki, she'd  
never agree to marry a poor wandering martial artist. I'm the  
one that will have to marry him."  
  
"Oh mother, I wish you were still here. I'm going to marry a  
monster, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."  
  
She squeezes her eyes shut, and tries to ignore the tears that  
are leaking out.

* * *

Author's notes and other junk:  
  
I'd like to thank my reviewers, all two of you...  
  
Actually, given that I rated this story R and that I'm new at  
this, I wasn't expecting any reviews for a while. Like ever.  
  
Rannath - I did have Soun mention that Tarou was adopted.   
You must have missed it. The rest of his origin story will  
come later. I don't know that I'd consider leaving something  
like that out of the opening chapter a plot hole though, more  
like a design feature. This way if you ever want to find out,  
you need to keep reading.  
  
dogbertcarroll - Ranma's background only. Kind of like a tree  
or an oddly shaped rock on a nearby mountain. He's alive and  
he's family, so he'll be mentioned occasionally, but I don't  
have any appearances scheduled.  
  
Strictly speaking, I should go back and tack this on to the  
end of the first chapter. I don't think it really stands  
alone, and I can't find a way to work it into the real second  
chapter smoothly. I do feel it's rather necessary to the  
story though, and because I don't feel like spending the next  
week fleshing out a fight scene that's pretty much pure  
gratuitous Akane-bashing (literally) I'll call this chapter 2  
and pretend that it deserves the name.  
  
Oh, and I feel it would set a bad precedent if I just went  
back and added stuff into existing chapters of a multiple  
chapter story. It'd be a real pain in the ass for all  
of you to try to keep track of if I were going to be that  
inconsistent. (I say all on the assumption that I have  
several readers. Something I have no evidence to support.)  
  
Anyway, there should be another real chapter out in the next  
week or so. The only reason I waited a week on this one is  
that between graduation and switching apartments I pretty much  
killed my weekend.  
  
Maybe if I start getting better at keeping a schedule in  
writing I might not post rough-draft level stories.  
  
Project Balrog  
projectbalroghotmail.com  



	3. Chapter three

The True Heir  
  
Oh yeah, just in case you didn't know, there are a whole   
bunch of people who own the rights to these characters and I  
am not one of them.

* * *

Chapter three  
  
An Education...  
  
[It's a calm morning. The sun is rising, the birds are  
chirping, and all is right in the world. Suddenly the Tendo  
dojo begins to shake as the sounds of combat fill the air.]  
  
"Fight me for real you pervert!"  
  
THUD  
  
"Ouch! Cut that out!"  
  
"Quit whining, you're the one that wanted to spar!"  
  
"Die you jerk!"  
  
WHAM  
  
"You're overextending, you threw yourself way off balance  
with that last punch!"  
  
"Shut Up!"  
  
CRASH  
  
"Now that was pathetic, honestly did your father even bother  
to teach you ANY of the basics?"  
  
"DIE!!!"  
  
"No thanks."  
  
SLAM  
  
Shaking his head and sighing, Tarou walked away from Akane's   
much abused form.  
  
"Are you going to be doing this every morning?" Nabiki was   
giving Tarou her best 6:30 am glare of death.  
  
"I hope not. If Akane keeps interfering with my training  
like that I'll start to get soft."  
  
"Can't you two at least keep it down? Some of us like to   
sleep."  
  
"Look," Tarou rolled his eyes, "I'll try not to be so loud,  
but if you really want us to be quiet you should be talking  
to her."   
  
Tarou jerked his head at Akane, who was just starting to get  
up, "She's the one who can't keep her temper under control."  
  
"Why you!" Akane tried to charge Tarou from behind.  
  
Tarou sidestepped her, and gave her a gentle shove on the  
back sending her skidding into the hallway to smash into the  
far wall.  
  
"I thought self-control was supposed to be one of the first  
things a martial artist learned."  
  
Kasumi poked her head through an open door. "Oh my, are you  
two still playing? Akane should really be getting ready for  
school soon."  
  
"Oh yeah, school. I knew I was forgetting something. I  
should probably be getting ready too."  
  
Nabiki turned to Tarou in surprise, "I thought you were  
Kasumi's age, are you going to college? You don't really  
look like the type."  
  
"You're right about that." Tarou laughed, "I'm a few months  
older than she is, I've been traveling so much I barely had  
time to finish high school. Mom seems to think I need a   
college degree if I want to teach in a Dojo though."  
  
"Anyway, I'd better go see if I have everything I'm going to   
need today."  
  
Kasumi poked her head out again, "Don't forget to take a  
bath before breakfast."  
  
"But I didn't even work up a sweat."  
  
Nabiki sniffed the air pointedly, and Kasumi giggled.  
  
"Alright, alright, you've made your point."

* * *

[Oooohh, look! It's a dining room, and there are people  
there. They're eating breakfast of all things.]  
  
"You didn't have to hit me you know." Tarou was nursing a  
large red handprint on his face.  
  
"Well YOU didn't have to stare at my naked body you  
pervert!" Akane was nursing a growing rage.  
  
"Where do you get off calling me a pervert? You're the one  
who walked in on me!"  
  
"You know he's right Akane, if anyone should be walking in  
on him while he's naked it should be Kasumi." Nabiki was  
starting to really enjoy the floorshow with her breakfast.   
  
"Nabiki!" Kasumi had turned a nice shade of red with   
Nabiki's comments.  
  
"Oh, it shames me so that my own daughter would try to  
seduce her sister's fiancé..."  
  
"There there Tendo," Genma patted his friend on the back,  
"look on the bright side. If it doesn't work out with Tarou  
and Kasumi at least we can always switch the engagement to  
Akane."  
  
"Urk!"   
  
"Tarou, are you all right?"  
  
"C-Can't breathe... the horror..."  
  
WHAM!  
  
"U-uncute tomboy..."  
  
"Akane! That was completely uncalled for! Apologize to   
Kasumi's fiancé right now!"  
  
"Humph! I'm going to school now."  
  
"Akane!"  
  
"I'm sorry about that, she really is a nice girl. It's just  
that she can be a bit violent."  
  
"Gee sis, do you think?" Nabiki shook her head.  
  
"C'mon Saotome, we'd better be going too."  
  
"Speak for yourself, I've got another three hours before my  
first class."  
  
Genma perked up.  
  
"This is a perfect opportunity for you to get to know your  
future wife boy. Why don't Tendo and I..."  
  
After a desperate glance around the room which revealed a  
visibly agitated Kasumi, Tarou cut him off.  
  
"Actually I need to leave early anyway, I don't know my way  
around campus yet..."

* * *

[Outside Furinkan High School]  
  
Nabiki smirked to herself as she stepped over the third   
unmoving body. Akane must have broken at least two records  
today. Unless her subordinates were complete incompetents  
they must have made a killing on the betting pools.  
  
She was whistling cheerfully as she dragged Kuno towards the  
nurses office by his feet. Her expression became even more  
cheerful each time she heard his head slam onto another of  
the stairs at the entrance.  
  
Maybe the headache would make him less likely to argue about  
her fee...  
  
She shrugged a little.  
  
If not, she always had some aspirin to sell him.  
  
[Later, inside the school, Nabiki's classroom]  
  
"Tell me Nabiki Tendo," Kuno was sporting a swollen black  
eye, "who is that... Tarou person of which my beloved was  
speaking this morning?"  
  
The neighboring student's leaned forward, all hoping for  
some free hint of gossip from the local ice queen.  
  
"Oh, Tarou. He's no one special, he's just engaged to my  
sister..."  
  
"I SHALL NOT ALLOW IT!!!"  
  
Nabiki stared at Kuno's retreating form, "...Kasumi."  
  
"What!"  
  
"You have another sister?"  
  
"Of course you moron! She was that really nice girl who  
graduated last year."  
  
"Oh her, she made the best... Hey! Where'd everyone go?"

* * *

[In the hallway]  
  
Nabiki was running full tilt trying to beat the rest of her  
class to the impending disaster.   
  
She spotted Kuno just as he rushed into Akane's classroom.  
  
She had gone less than another two steps when the collective  
shout of over twenty voices pierced the school.  
  
"ENGAGED!?"  
  
Both Akane and Kuno managed to have their shouts of protest  
and denial overwhelmed by the rising gossip.  
  
It only took a few moments for essentially the entire school   
to crowd around Akane's classroom. In that time, Nabiki   
managed to establish herself firmly as the only reliable   
source of information relating to the engagement scandal.  
  
Her cause was only helped by Akane's angry pout and refusal  
to respond to questions.  
  
Kuno's unconsciousness didn't hurt either.  
  
It was a good day to be the queen...

* * *

[Back at the Tendo house, Kasumi is hanging laundry.]  
  
Watching Kasumi go about her morning routine, a stranger or  
a casual observer would be struck with a sense of almost  
unearthly peace and calm. There was simply something about  
her which automatically brought to mind images of comfort  
and contentment. Her tranquil expression seemed to bleed   
off serenity.  
  
Soun was neither a stranger nor a casual observer. While  
Genma seemed oblivious to it, to Soun there was something  
decidedly off in Kasumi's demeanor.  
  
She seemed... heavier in some way. Her movements, while  
smooth and graceful, lacked their typical freedom. Her  
serene expression was missing the light smile on her lips  
and the sparkle in her eyes that made even complete  
strangers see her as kind and approachable. There was no   
doubt about it, Kasumi was depressed.  
  
He was at a loss to deal with it. All he wanted was for his  
daughters to be happy, and for the future of the school to  
be secure.  
  
Tarou was a fine young man. Yes, he was abrasive. Yes, he  
was uncultured. Yes, he had overreacted badly to Akane's  
aggression. In spite of all that, even in the short time he  
had been present, he'd shown himself to be an excellent  
martial artist and a proud young man with a strong sense of  
honor. Even when angry, he attempted to be respectful.  
  
If only he wasn't so stubborn.  
  
Kasumi was sweet and kind and understanding. The perfect  
daughter. She was also too passive. Left to her own  
devices, she'd cheerfully go through life letting other  
people take advantage of her giving nature.  
  
Tarou would look after her. Soun was certain of it. The  
boy had a true martial artist's instincts and would never  
allow her to be harmed. His honor and uncompromising nature  
would keep him from taking advantage of her himself.  
  
In return, Kasumi would soften those sharp edges the boy  
had. With her help, he'd turn into the sort of man that the  
entire community would look up to and turn to in times of  
need. The sort of man that Soun himself had been while his  
wife was still alive.  
  
They were a good match, Soun was sure of it. If only the  
two would stop fighting the engagement and take the time to  
let things work out on their own.  
  
He sighed deeply. The gods only knew how long that would  
take with the way the boy kept running away.  
  
He looked back to the game board and his eyes widened in  
shock.  
  
"Genma, how did that rook get there?"  
  
"That was two moves ago Soun, it isn't like you to be this  
distracted."  
  
"Genma..."  
  
"yes?"  
  
"We're playing Shoji, not chess."

* * *

[On a non-descript college campus.]  
  
"Stupid morons," Tarou growled as he shouldered through a   
tightly packed group of talking students.  
  
He'd spent most of the morning wandering around aimlessly  
trying to kill time. Unfortunately he'd wasted too much  
time, and if he wasn't careful, he'd be late for his first  
class.  
  
"Why the hell do I have to take foreign language classes  
anyway? It isn't like a martial artist needs to speak  
English..."  
  
His train of thought was disrupted by something slamming  
into his leg.  
  
He looked down to see a little girl in an oversized dress.  
She was carrying a satchel, and had been knocked down when  
she ran into him.  
  
"Watch where you're going brat!"  
  
She had initially looked upset and embarrassed, but at his  
words she instantly switched to angry. She hopped to her   
feet and started hitting him.  
  
"Oooh, you delinquent! How dare you!"  
  
He glared at her, he punches were annoying, but lacked the  
strength to actually hurt.  
  
"Look little girl, I don't have time for this. I'm gonna be  
late for class."  
  
"That's no excuse for delinquent behavior!" She produced a  
five Yen coin out of nowhere and pointed it at him.  
  
"Happoh Five-Yen Satsu!"  
  
Tarou didn't know what to be more surprised about, the fact  
that he didn't have the energy even stand up, or that the   
annoying little twit just turned into a gorgeous woman in a  
dress that might as well have been spray-painted on.  
  
She picked him up by the front of his shirt.  
  
"Now, you might be a delinquent, but that's no excuse for  
you to miss class. Tell me where it is and I'll drop you off."  
  
It took all of his strength just to form the words. Arguing  
with her wasn't an option.  
  
"...language...building...wing...C...room...204..."  
  
She snorted contemptuously and rolled her eyes.  
  
"It figures you'd be one of MY students."  
  
She started walking, dragging him behind her by his shirt.  
  
"Come on delinquent. We don't want to be late."

* * *

[The Language building, wing C, room 204]  
  
The woman is standing in front of a blackboard introducing  
herself. It's a fairly small room, with about twenty desks.  
The desks are packed, but there is a noticeable lack of  
female students.  
  
Oddly enough for an entry level English class, most of the  
students appear to be upperclassmen and grad students.   
There's even one man who is almost certainly a full  
professor.  
  
"My name," she glances around the room and shakes her head,  
"as most of you know... is Hinako Ninomiya. This is English  
101. I would hope that since this is my last semester here  
as a grad student, we will all complete this semester  
successfully..." She glares pointedly at a few of the  
students. "For once."  
  
She gestures towards Tarou, who is seated in the center of  
the front row and looks like a withered husk.  
  
"The one face you all don't recognize is Mr. Saotome here."  
  
She sighs dramatically.  
  
"When I found out that I was actually going to have a  
freshman in my class... for a change, I was hoping to get  
some actual teaching done. Unfortunately Tarou seems to be  
just as much of a delinquent as the rest of you. I'm sure  
he'll fit right in."  
  
With that, she turned to attempting to actually teach the   
class.  
  
The entire class paid very close attention to her, if not the   
lesson.  
  
To Tarou, it seemed as though every time she turned around  
to write on the board, another student would thank him for  
his 'Noble Sacrifice' which resulted in her current form.  
  
He did his best to pay attention to her lesson. She was  
actually a good teacher after all, and he did need to pass  
the class. Unfortunately, in his weakened state, even  
listening was a struggle. Lifting his pencil to take notes  
was brutal.  
  
Oh well, he thought as she turned around to write another  
verb form on the board, at least she's got a nice ass.

* * *

[Back outside on the college campus, afternoon]  
  
Tarou trudged across campus, heading for the bus stop. When  
he first saw that even on Mondays, his busiest day, he only  
had three classes, he was happy. Somehow it never occurred  
to him that just three hours in the classroom could be that  
exhausting. And the bit with the little energy-vampire  
didn't help anything.  
  
"Mr. Saotome!"  
  
Oh damn, it's her, and she's a brat again.  
  
Reluctantly, he stopped walking so that she could catch up  
with him. He wasn't about to piss her off again today.  
  
She was breathless when she reached him. She looked every  
bit like a girl in her very early teens right down to body  
language. It struck him as amazing that she could go  
through such a profound transformation. He had to restrain  
himself from laughing. Where did he get off getting  
surprised at someone else's transformation?  
  
She finally regained her breath.  
  
"I want you to know that I'm not going to hold this morning  
against you. It's your first day of class and you were  
stressed out, and while that doesn't excuse your rudeness  
it does help explain it. And I should have been watching  
where I was going."  
  
In a supreme effort of will, Tarou bit back his retort to  
the 'rudeness' comment. She was his teacher, and getting  
her angry would be stupid and pointless. Steeling himself,  
he apologized.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I need to learn to watch my   
temper..."  
  
Her smile, he reflected, really put her way past the line of  
decency for cuteness. It was starting to get annoying being  
around her. And for some reason he couldn't get her adult  
form out of his head. Damned mind.  
  
"I hope we won't have to go through anything like that  
again. I noticed you taking notes in class, it'd be nice if  
we could..."  
  
Whatever she was about to say was cut off as the sprinklers  
came on and the predictable happened.

* * *

[The Tendo Dojo]  
  
"Tendo old friend," Genma said as he placed another piece on  
the shoji board, "I have the feeling that the boy has done  
something stupid."  
  
"Why do you say that Saotome?" Soun studied the board  
intently, Tarou seems like a fairly responsible boy. Not  
at all like you were at that age. How much trouble could he  
get into?"  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you..."  
  
The two were interrupted by the sound of a giant creature  
flying into and landing on the Tendo property.  
  
"Ah, speak of the devil."  
  
"Hi pops, Mr. Tendo," a wet Tarou walked into the house, "is  
there any food around? I didn't get a chance to pick  
anything up on the way back."  
  
Genma shook his head, "How many times does this have to  
happen before you learn to watch out for sprinklers?"  
  
"You're one to talk old man, or have you forgotten Hong Kong   
already?"  
  
Soun spoke up, "I take it then that your curse has become   
common knowledge?"  
  
"You could say that," Tarou laughed wryly, "there weren't  
too many people around, but one of them was one of my  
teachers I'm sure it'll be all over campus by tomorrow."  
  
"You do know what this means right Tarou?"  
  
"Better than you do pops, I'm going to need to find a  
reputable priest in the area to help me convince at least  
the administration that I'm not some sort of Hell-spawn."  
  
Soun looked up, "Well maybe not a priest. Now that I think  
of it, the local doctor is well trusted in such matters, and  
he is a friend of the family. Maybe you should go talk to  
him..."  
  
End Chapter three

* * *

Authors notes:  
  
This one's a day late. I really have no acceptable excuse  
for that. What happened was that because this was the last  
of the chapters I had pre-written material for, I put off  
working on it until yesterday. When I started work on it,  
I realized that most of it was absolutely worthless to me  
given the way I have the story plotted.  
  
The original unfinished story I've been feeding off of was  
full of annoying fanfiction conventions that I've since come  
to despise thoroughly. Among other things I was using the  
complete cop-out of a pre-existing relationship that so many  
fanfiction writers seem to love.  
  
In my opinion, if you're going to write a story that   
essentially revolves around relationships, you need to show  
those relationships developing.  
  
I'm writing about a set of characters from an immature  
series that are all noticeably more mature than the original  
cast. In my experience, people become more complex as they  
develop, not less. That's why I'm trying so hard to build  
characterization from the ground up.   
  
None of these people were really shown as more than two  
dimensional stereotypes in the original story. I've never  
met a two dimensional stereotype in real life.  
  
No one's going to fall in love at first sight. No one is  
going to be entirely predictable in their behavior. Even  
the background characters will act differently than you are  
probably used to. People change their behavior depending on  
the company they are in at the time.   
  
Around Ranma and Akane, everyone acts violently and  
immaturely to some degree because those two are so violent  
and immature. Contrast that with Kasumi and the behavior  
she inspires even in the original story and you'll hopefully  
see my point.  
  
What I'm trying to do is to put Tarou and Kasumi in the same  
position as Ranma and Akane were, and to use that as a  
vehicle to tell a completely different story even though the  
situation is the same.  
  
I said before that this is a mental exercise for me. I'm   
trying to improve not only my writing, but my understanding  
of humanity as well. Well that and see how well I can keep  
a series of self-imposed deadlines.  
  
If I stick with it and finish the story, I currently have  
over forty chapters roughly plotted out. That's all I  
intend to write of this story, ever. If I write what I have  
plotted I will have a complete story. Any more or any less  
would only harm the story in my opinion.  
  
To keep myself from getting bogged down with endless  
rewrites, I'm not going to make any revisions to the plot of  
existing chapters. I'll fix grammar and spelling, maybe   
even improve my wording, but the story itself will be  
unchanged until I have a complete rough draft of the entire  
story. That way I don't run the risk of destroying my  
plotting for future chapters and necessitate a time  
consuming complete rewrite.  
  
Once I get fanfiction.net to stop destroying my spacing and  
section breaks, I'll go back and do a superficial edit of my  
existing chapters. Right now things seem to run together   
too much for my taste when I go back to look at it.  



	4. Chapter four

The True Heir  
  
By  
  
Project Balrog Productions  
  
Oh yeah, just in case you didn't know, there are a whole   
bunch of people who own the rights to these characters and I  
am not one of them. Or two of them for that matter.  
  
Chapter four  
  
The Trouble with Tofu...  
  
no vegetable protein was harmed in the making of this chapter  
  
[A long time ago in a Galaxy... Um, no. That's not right.  
Oh yeah,   
  
"When we last left you, Tarou had just returned from a  
harrowing day of higher education. Knowing that the recent  
revelation of his Jusenkyo curse would inevitably lead to  
difficulties at his college, he decided to enlist the aid of  
a priest in demonstrating to school officials that his curse  
would not make him a danger to the other students. Mr.  
Tendo quickly recalled that the family doctor was something   
of an authority on supernatural matters, and would likely be  
willing to provide his help in clearing up any   
misunderstanding."  
  
"And now, on with the show..."]

* * *

[The Streets of Nerima]  
  
Tarou scratched his head in confusion as he looked at the  
scrap of paper in his hand.  
  
Who knew that Mr. Tendo's handwriting would be even worse   
than pop's?  
  
He was fairly certain that he was on the right street, but  
beyond that, he had no clue. He didn't see any signs for a  
clinic nearby either.  
  
He was about to stop, reluctantly, and ask for directions   
when he got splashed in the side of the face.  
  
It took a long, horrified moment before he realized that for  
once, he had been splashed with warm water. He did his best  
not to growl. The damned curse was picking up a sense of  
humor today.  
  
He smiled grimly before turning, there was a good chance  
that he'd get to work off some frustration.  
  
He was greeted by a man in his late twenties with dark hair  
and glasses. He seemed... peaceful, and sincerely sorry...  
just great.  
  
Biting back his growing irritation, Tarou decided he   
couldn't honorably beat the annoying pansy into a bloody  
pulp. He gritted his teeth.  
  
"It's alright. Just look first next time."  
  
"I really am very sorry, I was just closing up my clinic  
early for the night..."  
  
Tarou snorted loudly, cutting him off.  
  
"You're Tofu aren't you? Just my luck."  
  
"Well yes, how can I..."  
  
"I don't suppose you've ever heard of Jusenkyo?"  
  
"I might have..."  
  
Tarou started to speak again, but this time Tofu didn't  
allow the interruption.  
  
"I can see that you're agitated, and it's at least partly  
my fault, but that's no reason to be rude. If you'll come  
inside and calm down a little I'm sure we can deal with your  
problem, whatever it is."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Even as he stepped through the door, Tarou was starting to   
have problems controlling his rising temper. There was  
something about Tofu that just rubbed him the wrong way.   
And to make it even worse, he needed the man's help.  
  
"Now," Tofu said, in an infuriatingly reasonable voice, "how  
can I help you?"  
  
"Like I asked earlier, have you ever heard of Jusenkyo?"  
  
"Hmmm, I think I might have..."  
  
It's a yes or no question moron. It's not that hard.  
  
"...lets see..."  
  
How long is this going to take?  
  
"...ah yes, I believe I have."  
  
Finally!  
  
"I believe I did hear at some point about some supposedly  
cursed springs by that name. Some nonsense about  
transformations utterly ridiculous of course, if nothing  
else there's conservation of mass to consider."  
  
Tarou snorted.  
  
"Yeah, well I'd demonstrate, but there wouldn't be much   
left of your office if I did."  
  
"You mean to tell me that you've actually been there?"  
  
"Twice, I only remember the last one though."  
  
"And you actually believe that you transform into an animal  
of some sort?"  
  
Tofu began writing on a nearby pad of paper.  
  
"A mixture of animals actually. If I remember right, it's  
Ox, Crane, Yeti, Eel, and Giant Octopus."  
  
"You do know that there's no evidence that Yetis actually  
exist don't you?"  
  
"Hey, it's just what the guide told me."  
  
"The guide?"  
  
"At the springs."  
  
"Ah yes, of course."  
  
"Well I don't know why you came to me specifically, but I do  
believe that I have a colleague who can help you."  
  
He tore off a piece of paper and handed it to Tarou, on the  
paper was a name and a phone number.  
  
"How exactly is this person supposed to help when you don't  
even know what the problem is."  
  
"Well to you it might not be, but I think the problem is  
fairly obvious. Dr. Yamamoto should be able you help you  
past this atavism delusion of yours rather handily. It's  
amazing just how strong the power of suggestion can be on  
the... well, lets just say 'certain people' in regards to  
these regional 'curses'. I understand that his rates are  
quite reasonable. I'm sure that the two of you will develop  
a healthy doctor-patient relationship."  
  
Tofu, not too subtly, guides Tarou back out the door of his  
clinic.  
  
As soon as he realizes what's happening, Tarou turns around  
and grabs Tofu by the front of the shirt.  
  
"Look, doc, I don't think you understand what I'm saying to  
you."  
  
"Jusenkyo isn't a delusion. If I get more than a few drops  
of cold water on me, I turn into an overgrown minotaur. I  
don't need that fixed. All I need is for you to convince  
the administration at my college that I'm not dangerous."  
  
Tofu calmly raised his arm, lightly touching Tarou in the  
process. Immediately, Tarou's hand spasmed open, releasing  
him.  
  
"Yes, because you're obviously doing a good job of  
demonstrating that. I wonder if it ever occurred to you that  
threats of physical violence rarely encourage willing  
cooperation. They certainly won't convince anyone that  
you're harmless."  
  
"Yeah, well if you'd stop preaching and listen for a second  
maybe I wouldn't have to threaten you."  
  
"No, I think I've already heard more than enough from you.  
If you don't leave now, I'll have to call... Ka... Ka...   
Kasumi!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
Tarou whirled around to see that Kasumi was indeed walking  
towards them. He had no clue why she'd cause that much of a  
reaction, but he didn't like it. He might not have asked  
for it but she was his fiance, and there was no way in hell  
he'd let this stuck-up bastard get near her.   
  
Not that his intentions had much effect. Before he could do  
anything about it, he felt a hand grab him from behind.   
Shortly after, he felt pain on a level he had never imagined  
possible.  
  
It was all he could do to stay conscious while this sadist   
treated his body like an oversized piece of origami paper.  
And his fiance was standing there giggling like it was the  
funniest damned thing in the world!  
  
It seemed like hours before she finally left, and during  
that whole time, he'd been getting mangled and she hadn't so  
much as acknowledged his presence.  
  
"Oh dear, how did you manage to do that to yourself?"  
  
"It's easily fixed though...."  
  
Snap Crackle Pop!  
  
And the pain was gone. Oddly enough, the burning murderous  
rage didn't seem to vanish with it.  
  
"Now I'm sorry, but I really don't have the time or the  
inclination to deal with an irrational child. So run along  
now."  
  
Tofu gently but firmly pushed Tarou away and turned to  
reenter his clinic. Just as he was opening the door, he was  
tapped on the shoulder.  
  
"Now look, if you don't leave now I'll... urk!"  
  
Hearing a wild story about someone turning into a twisted  
blend of animals is one thing. Being picked up in the  
tentacles of said twisted blend is something completely  
different.  
  
The small part of his mind that wasn't gibbering in terror  
wondered numbly how the creature could balance itself on  
such small hoofs. That small part soon realized that the  
way he was being restrained with his arms and legs extended  
left him completely unable to defend himself in any way, and  
the beast was cracking its knuckles. Yet another tentacle  
wrapped over his mouth, presumably to muffle any screams.  
That small portion of his mind decided to join the common  
consensus at that point.  
  
As a doctor, he would later be impressed at the skill and  
care shown by the creature. It's blows were carefully  
chosen to inflict a maximum of pain while leaving absolutely  
no permanent damage.  
  
It soon grew bored and tossed him to the ground. It was  
rather unfortunate that he opened his mouth to protest as  
soon as he landed. Strictly speaking, he might have been   
able to guess that a creature that was part octopus could  
project ink. That it seemed to do it through its fingers  
was a complete surprise though.  
  
He didn't quite have the strength to stand. Instead, he  
leaned against the wall of his clinic. He was bruised,  
blinded, and gagging on ink. Distantly, he heard the door   
to his clinic sliding open, followed quickly by the sound of  
an empty tea-kettle hitting the ground.  
  
After a few seconds, he heard the voice of the young man he  
had earlier dismissed as delusional.  
  
"I came here to ask for your help. I was told that you were  
open-minded and that you were interested in curses and other  
unusual things. All you had to do was listen to me for a   
few seconds and neither one of us would have gone through  
this mess."  
  
"Instead you judged me without bothering to learn the truth  
and insulted me for no reason. Then you did your level best  
to turn me into a pretzel. I'd have let that slide because  
I do need help with the morons at my college if it weren't  
for one thing. It's not my choice, and I don't even know  
her yet, but our damned parents engaged me and Kasumi.   
There's no way in hell I'm going to stand back and watch a  
perverted cradle-robbing asshole like you drool over her."  
  
"You make me sick."  
  
As he heard the young man's footsteps heading away, Tofu  
only thought of one thing.  
  
"I really could have handled that better."

* * *

[The Tendo Home]  
  
Soun looked up from his paper as he heard Kasumi enter the  
house.  
  
"Ah good, you're home."  
  
"Hello Father, I was just going to get cleaned up and then  
start dinner."  
  
"Don't worry about dinner Kasumi, I've had Nabiki order  
takeout for us. Besides, you should be getting ready."  
  
Kasumi's face fell, almost imperceptively.  
  
"Getting ready for what, father?"  
  
"Why for your date with Tarou, of course. Saotome and I  
made reservations for the two of you at that new restaurant  
you mentioned last week. And we have a pair of tickets for   
you two to go see a movie."  
  
"Oh my, that's... kind... of you. You really shouldn't  
have..."  
  
Soun goes on as though he doesn't notice her reluctance.  
  
"Nonsense! It's the least we can do. You and Tarou need a  
chance to get to know each other without us getting in the  
way. Besides, it's about time you got out of the house for  
a while."  
  
Kasumi sighed softly and tried to smile.  
  
"I suppose I should go get ready then, it is a rather formal  
restaurant after all."  
  
"Yes, that would be best." Soun's voice softened, "And  
Kasumi..."  
  
"Yes father?"  
  
"...I'm sure you two will have a wonderful time."  
  
"I hope you're right father."  
  
After she left, Genma poked his head out of a nearby door.  
  
"I'm amazed Tendo, that went better than I had imagined   
possible, I guess you were worried for nothing."  
  
It was then that he noticed Soun's face. His friend was  
crying openly.  
  
"Tell me we're doing the right thing Saotome. Tell me it'll  
work out for the best."  
  
"It will Soun. You've done a fine job with your daughter,  
there's no way even my hard-headed son will be able to  
resist her. You should be proud. At last our old dream  
will come true."  
  
"But what if...?"  
  
"There's no 'ifs' Tendo. They'll be happy together, and the  
future of the school will be assured."  
  
Soun seemed determined to further wallow in his own misery,  
but the phone rang, forcing him to gain some semblance of  
control.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Yes this is the Tendo household."  
  
"Tarou, yes actually he is staying here. Excuse me miss..."  
  
"Ah yes, Miss Hinako, why were you calling again?"  
  
"No, not at all."  
  
"Jusenkyo"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yes, thank you, I'm sure he'll be grateful to hear it."  
  
"Actually, he's off now to get assistance with that, but  
I suppose it's no longer necessary."  
  
"Thank you again. Yes, he'll be there."  
  
"I'm sure he'd rather explain the details himself."  
  
"I'll tell him."  
  
"Goodbye."  
  
After Soun hung up the phone, he looked much happier than he  
had been a moment ago.  
  
"Well Saotome, it looks as though Tarou's problem has  
resolved itself."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"That was one of his teachers, apparently she has some sort  
of curse of her own, and has already explained things to her  
employers."  
  
Just then, Tarou himself walked in, he's a little roughed up,  
but is whistling cheerfully.  
  
Genma pounces on the opportunity.  
  
"Tarou!"  
  
"Yeah pops?"  
  
"You're taking Kasumi out on a date tonight!"  
  
Tarou's face darkens and he starts to shout a refusal when he  
hesitates. Slowly his expression brightens and his smile  
stretches from ear to ear.  
  
"Sounds great. I'd better get ready."  
  
Tarou walked past the two stunned fathers and headed straight  
to his room.  
  
After a moment, Genma spoke up.  
  
"This isn't good Tendo."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"If Tarou's giving in that easily, he's got something  
planned. And if he's that cheerful, it's something very,   
very bad."  
  
"Surely you're exaggerating."  
  
"I hope so Tendo, I hope so."  
  
End Chapter four

* * *

[an infinite field of white space.]   
  
Gradually, an object fades into view. It's a podium with a  
microphone, and soon after it appears a man fades into view  
behind it.  
  
He's very tall, relative to the podium, and is forced to  
adjust the microphone. By the time the microphone is set to  
an acceptable height, you've had a good chance to get a look  
at him.  
  
He's somewhat thin. His skin is lightly tanned, but still   
quite pale. His hair is very short, and he's wearing a  
goatee and fair a bit of stubble besides. Behind his   
glasses and his thick eyebrows, his blue eyes are sunken and  
vaguely bloodshot. He's wearing a simple white t-shirt and  
a pair of faded and worn blue-jeans. He appears to be in  
his early to mid twenties.  
  
He taps the microphone before recoiling from the piercing   
feedback.  
  
"Ahem..."  
  
"Oh wait, what was I going to say?"  
  
"Oh yeah, that's right."  
  
He looks directly into your eyes.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"My name is David, and I am the 'head' so to speak of  
Project Balrog Productions. Well, actually I'm currently  
the entire company, but that's not important."  
  
"Most of you are aware of us due to our current major  
project, 'The True Heir', a Ranma 1/2 story in which  
Pantyhose Tarou is dumped into Ranma's miserable excuse for  
a life."  
  
"We're still not sure whether or not we're doing him a favor  
with that actually..."  
  
"In any case, I have an request to make on behalf of the  
company."  
  
"Does anyone know of any good long stories heavily  
featuring either Rouge or Kiima? I mean other than 'The  
Warrior That Returned' by Drakuzz. By the way, that's a  
pretty good story for those of you who haven't read it.   
Well assuming you can get past the vastly over-powered main  
characters and the way that almost no one bears more than a  
superficial resemblance to their original personality. But  
hey, I like it."  
  
"It's really unfair that someone as hot as Kiima gets so   
little attention in fanfiction. And she's amazingly bright  
compared to just about everyone else in the manga. Not that  
that's much of a compliment..."  
  
"And Rouge's 'I'm a sweet little innocent girl' act is  
pretty damned hilarious. Not to mention she's hot."  
  
"Certainly they're both far more attractive than anyone in  
Ranma's fanclub anyway."  
  
"Not that I'm superficial or anything..."  
  
A screen pops up out of nowhere showing the scene in the   
last chapter where Tarou stares at Hinako's ass.  
  
"Er... right."  
  
"Anyway, thanks for reading. And stuff..."  
  
"Oh yeah, the opinion was expressed that I'm not doing  
enough 'Akane Bashing' in this story." He arches an  
eyebrow. "That's... interesting. In truth I mean to push  
Akane and the other staples of the original series further  
and further into the background as the story progresses. I  
might show Tarou training her in true Saotome fashion, which  
I'm sure will satisfy all but the most sadistic of you, but  
I really intend to avoid mentioning her as much as possible.  
For my purposes in this story, she's little more than a  
distraction."  
  
"I need to get back to my original schedule for writing, so  
I'll try to have something out by Wednesday night.  
Fortunately, I've planned ahead for occasions like this.  
Hopefully I'll pick up enough time to get back on schedule  
and not pump out pure crap..."  
  
He fades away slowly, along with the podium.  
  
"...stupid cheesy special effects..."  
  



	5. Pointless filler material 1

The True Heir  
  
A Ranma 1/2 story by -  
  
Project Balrog Productions  
  
Oh yeah, just in case you didn't know, there are a whole   
bunch of people who own the rights to these characters and I  
am not one of them.  
  
Pointless filler material part 1 - backstory mini-segments 1 & 2   
"Origin"  


* * *

Age zero -  
  
Birth  
  
Happosai  
  
[Happosai has just been shown the cursed springs of  
Jusenkyo, when he and the guide notice a woman about to give  
birth. Happosai assists with the delivery and bathes the  
child, ignoring the guide's protests. Happosai names the  
child Pantyhose Tarou. Unfortunately, the boy's mother dies  
soon after giving birth...]  
  
"I am sorry Mr. Customer, but you will just have to find the  
boy a home on your own." The guide said regretfully, "I  
simply cannot afford to raise a child by myself and it would  
be very irresponsible of me to leave the cursed springs."  
  
Happosai thinks the matter over carefully. On the one hand,  
this could be the perfect opportunity to train an heir. On  
the other hand, he really has no interest in being a parent  
again at his age.   
  
"Hmmm, I seem to recall Genma and Soun talking about some  
pledge of theirs to unite the families..." He mutters to  
himself. "And Soun's wife is pregnant..."  
  
"That's it! Genma can adopt the boy! It's perfect, Genma's  
a better trainer than Soun anyway so he can be trusted with  
the boy's early lessons. And if Soun has a daughter they  
can fulfill that silly pledge of theirs."  
  
"Hmmm," Happosai mused to himself, "of course this means  
I'll need to make sure Soun raises that daughter of his  
properly..."

* * *

Age one week -  
  
Adoption  
  
"Saotome Tarou," Nodoka laughs as she lifts up her newly  
adopted son. "It has a nice ring to it doesn't it dear?"  
  
"But Nodoka, what of the boy's curse?" Genma poured cold  
water on the infant to demonstrate.  
  
"It's not that bad. And he's such a healthy little boy  
too." Nodoka tickled the tiny minotaur and was rewarded with  
what she thought was a giggle.  
  
"If it really bothers you, you can always look for a cure."  
She looked thoughtful, "We might want to move out of Tokyo,  
it could be hard for you to train him here without drawing  
too much attention."  
  
"Yes dear."

* * *

Authors Notes:  
  
I plan on tossing out short little things like this every  
time I need to buy some time to catch up. Some, like this,  
are backstory and have already been written. Others are  
along the lines of "What the hell is Ranma up to anyway?" A  
couple will probably focus on my annoying new character who  
has yet to be introduced. And still others will be short  
segments of plot from the annoying new parody (no relation  
to the annoying new character mentioned earlier, although  
there are several ANC's in the ANP) that occurs alongside  
and partially within the main story. Assuming I don't  
abandon the story mid-way through anyway.  
  
And it looks like it's working anyway, I've actually started  
writing the next chapter so I might be done early. Not that  
I'd post it early anyway, but still.  
  
And now for a response to a review.  
  
I really shouldn't respond to this, as my response can't  
help but spoil segments of the upcoming plot, but I can't  
resist.   
  
Spanner -   
  
But I LIKE tired, overused themes. They wouldn't  
be tired and overused if there wasn't something there.  
Seriously though **censored for plot reasons**. And my  
concern is making **censored** more **censored** to provide the  
necessary **censored** and to do that I'm using **censored** as  
a vehicle.  
  
I'm glad that someone else noticed **censored for plot  
reasons**. I was afraid that based on the reviews I've been  
receiving that people actually liked **censored**. And   
that, of course, would interfere with my plans to  
**censored**.  
  
And you're right of course about **censored** not necessarily  
being **censored**. Still, on the whole I think that certain  
**censored** like in particular **censored** do tend to be  
noticeably more c**ensored**. Although that tendency is  
certainly only relative. And even then, all of **censored**  
have blindingly obvious **censored**.  
  
And remember, "**censored**", actually I don't need the quotes  
because I think that might not be attributed to anyone yet.  
Maybe I just invented a truism!  
  
My author avatar will never show up, unless **censored for  
pointless, long-winded, self-indulgent, and off-topic   
borderline ranting**.  
  
Thanks for recommending those stories by the way. I'm  
behind in "The Dragon and the Ghost", so I don't remember  
seeing her there. I've run into the name "Waters Under  
Earth" so often that I have trouble believing I haven't read  
it, but I can't remember anything about it, so I'll have to  
go check.  
  
Really good review by the way, helpful too, thank you for  
taking the time. I hope I didn't spoil the plot for you too   
much with my response.  



	6. Chapter Five

The True Heir  
  
By  
  
Project Balrog Productions  
  
Oh yeah, just in case you didn't know, there are a whole   
bunch of people who own the rights to these characters and I  
am not one of them. Not that you really suspected  
otherwise...  
  
Chapter Five  
  
The Big Date  
  
To misquote Bart Simpson -   
  
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this chapter  
both sucks and blows!"  
  
[Inside the Tendo home]  
  
If Tarou had been thinking clearly, he would have taken his  
time getting ready. After all, it is a law of nature that  
no woman can ever get ready for a date, even one she does  
not want to go on, in any period of time less than an  
eternity. Well, actually that wasn't a fair statement.  
  
A more fair statement would be that it will take an eternity  
before there exists a woman who will not make a man wait for  
her well past the borders of his patience before she is  
ready to go. Anywhere.  
  
And so Tarou sat there at the table across from Soun,  
waiting.  
  
He was wearing a simple but formal outfit that for some  
unexplained reason he had seen fit to drag along with him  
across two continents during the course of his most recent  
training trip. Oddly enough, it wasn't as stupid of a  
choice at it seemed at face value. This was the third  
instance since he left home a few months ago in which he had  
needed to be well-dressed. The other two are better left  
unmentioned. Really.  
  
Ordinarily if one is waiting for a woman to get ready for a  
first date, and one is waiting with the woman's father, it  
is a very awkward situation. The father glares, asks  
probing questions, and above all implies or states outright  
and frequently that the one in question is in no way fit to  
exist on the same planet as his daughter, let alone date  
her.  
  
But then ordinarily the father isn't the one who set up the  
date. And it's really not a common thing at all for the  
father to be trying to force a marriage between the young  
man in question and his ever so flawless daughter.  
  
So while ordinarily a man in Tarou's position would be at  
least a bit nervous and very ready to leave, either with his  
date or alone and at a dead run, Tarou himself was only  
annoyed. Well, if by 'only' we mean 'very'.  
  
Kasumi's mother, Tarou decided, must have slept around an  
awful lot. Really there was no conceivable way that any of  
the three Tendo girls could be even remotely related to this  
quivering, over-emotional mass of gelatin. He was very glad  
that he'd already met Kasumi, or Soun's desperate and  
overeager salesmanship would have convinced him that she was  
some sort of cannibalistic axe-murdering circus side-show  
freak of questionable species and gender.  
  
If Soun did this to all of his daughter's dates, it was no  
wonder that they were all single.  
  
Mrs. Tendo must have been a saint to have not smothered him  
with a pillow at some point.  
  
Either that or both deaf and blind.  
  
Tarou chuckled to himself quietly.  
  
His laughter trailed off as Kasumi entered the room.  
  
Obviously, she'd been using her time well. She was  
beautiful. And untouchable. With a special emphasis on  
that second point...  
  
He felt mildly ashamed just for polluting her presence.  
  
Then he remembered. He had a point to make with a certain  
doctor.  
  
He stood up. Compared to Kasumi's flawlessness, there was a  
certain worn and rumpled look to him. He was casual,  
confident, and oozing charm. With an appreciative look in  
his eyes and a slow grin on his face, he held out his arm.  
  
"Shall we go?"  
  
  
  
Kasumi couldn't quite place why the date was going so  
poorly.  
  
Both of them were filling their roles well. She was the  
perfect lady, and he was surprisingly being a perfect  
gentleman. He made sure that they kept up a polite and  
friendly conversation on their walk to the restaurant. He  
even stopped to wave at Dr. Tofu as they passed the clinic.  
  
He was intelligent, he was charming, he was acting   
interested in her and her life.   
  
He was acting.   
  
She had nothing but a vague feeling to go on, but something  
in her couldn't quite drop the feeling that he was being  
dishonest. And she didn't know why.  
  
She tried a few times to break the formal facade of their  
date, but he wouldn't have it. Questions were deflected,  
glances ignored, and anything that might have given life to  
their conversation was stomped on ruthlessly. If this was  
what a date was supposed to be, she hadn't been missing  
much.  
  
Finally, halfway through dinner, she arrived at an  
explanation. Tarou obviously thought that this was  
appropriate behavior for a date. He'd spent his entire life  
wandering through the wilderness, and now that he was stuck  
in a formal situation, he was overcompensating. Maybe she'd  
gone a bit too far with the dress.  
  
She sighed gently and took another small sip of her wine.  
  
It was hard to believe that someone who had presumably lived  
a life of travel and adventure could be so mind-numbingly  
boring.  
  
  
  
By the time they got to the theater, neither of their smiles  
looked very convincing.  
  
Tarou pulled the tickets from his pocket, and for the first  
time looked at the movie title.  
  
He flinched.  
  
A quick glance to the posters lining the wall confirmed his  
suspicions.  
  
"Umm... Kasumi?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why don't we try something other than a movie?"  
  
He tried to hide the tickets, but his protests only drew her  
attention. Before he could get them out of sight, she saw  
the title.  
  
Saber Stars, the movie.  
  
She didn't know why he'd be that upset about going to see an  
anime based on real-live superheroes. Until she saw it.   
The poster.  
  
There they were on the poster, in their ridiculous trademark  
poses, facing off against a giant demonic monster. A giant  
demonic monster that looked an awful lot like her date had  
last night.  
  
Kasumi's smile wasn't evil. It came close, but it wasn't  
quite evil.  
  
She took the tickets from his now-nerveless fingers, and  
then grabbed his hand and nearly dragged him into the  
theater.  
  
"I think a movie would be perfect right now."  
  
{][},?  
  
The movie was silly. It was childish. It was completely  
absurd. And with its frequent use of real news headlines  
and actual people, it had a faint air of credibility.  
  
Before long, Kasumi was completely enthralled.  
  
Tarou began looking for sharp objects to aid him in his  
suicide attempt less than five minutes after it started.  
  
The story, essentially, was as follows:  
  
A few years ago, there was an awkward young boy in junior  
high school. He was a complete geek, and was the target of  
much abuse from his classmates. One day, while getting  
beaten to a bloody pulp, he noticed a shining metallic  
object out of the corner of his eye.  
  
After he recovered enough to investigate, he discovered that  
it was a sword. More specifically, it was a western cavalry  
saber with an ornate hilt in a simple but elegant leather  
scabbard. When he drew the sword, he underwent a startling  
transformation.  
  
He gained at least ten years in apparent age, a hundred  
pounds of assorted bone and muscle, and a disturbingly  
bishonen (X) appearance. For some bizarre reason, he began  
calling himself 'Orion' and set out to do battle against the  
forces of evil.  
  
(X) - bishonen, a term that generally refers to a male who  
is very effeminate. For some bizarre reason this is  
considered to be a good thing in many cases. Personally I  
find that to be almost but not quite as disturbing as the  
trend towards youth worship that seems to consider no one to  
be quite so attractive as a pre-pubescent boy. Regardless  
of gender preference. Shudder (X)  
  
Eventually he found both allies and enemies. His allies  
were universally female, and went by the names Canis, Ursa,  
Leo, Draco, Scorpius, and Taurus despite the masculine  
quality to several of the names. All of his allies were, of  
course, in their early teens and unbearably cute.  
  
His regular enemies chose to name themselves after the  
planets. Some were male, and some female. The females were  
universally trashy, and the males almost but not quite as  
bishonen as Orion.  
  
At first, the heroes were hopelessly outmatched by even the  
weakest of their opponents. Eventually, however, they  
learned to use the true magic of their blades. His allies  
could, by crossing their swords and speaking a truly  
disturbing magical phrase, combine to become obscenely  
powerful legendary heroes. Canis and Ursa became Perseus.   
Leo and Draco became Herakles. Scorpius and Taurus became  
Gemini, the twins Castor and Pollux. And yes, all of these  
legendary heroes were male. As the transformations were  
only temporary and the heroes distinctly lacking in  
personality, there wasn't much conflict with their original  
forms.  
  
Orion himself was nearly as strong as and of the legendary  
heroes to begin with. When he performed his own  
transformation and became the huntress Artemis, he surpassed  
them in strength by a very wide margin.  
  
Artemis had a completely independent personality and set of  
memories. This occasionally leads to serious negative  
issues.  
  
The above was all backstory and was glossed over during the  
first ten minutes or so.  
  
The main story of the movie itself began when, during one of  
the weekly major fights with the lesser villains, Tarou got  
involved simply by being wet and in the wrong place at the  
right time.  
  
After being attacked by both sides, he lost his temper. He  
started laying into the Saber Stars first. They hadn't used  
their transformations yet, and he swatted them around with  
little difficulty. Orion was the only one still conscious,  
barely, when Tarou turned his attention on the 'bad guys'.  
  
Not realizing that Tarou was going to attack the villains as  
well, Orion reluctantly triggered his transformation.  
  
Artemis was just rising to her feet when she saw him begin  
his assault. She watched quietly, hiding herself and  
waiting for a trap that never came. After he was done, he  
looked around without seeing her before darting into a  
nearby alley.  
  
She followed, and saw him transform back into his human form  
without seeing him use any hot water. In the movie he was  
shown as being around 15, very attractive, and having a kind  
face.  
  
She stared, stunned, while he ran away.  
  
The scene faded away with her whispering, "Icarus...".  
  
[Kasumi was by now riveted to the movie. Tarou groaned   
loudly, but shut up when she whispered at him to not be  
rude.]  
  
From that point on, the movie was a tragic romance starring  
Artemis and Tarou, told from her perspective. She believed  
that he was Icarus, her long lost lover from several  
millennia ago, and that he had been cursed to turn into the  
minotaur that had enslaved his people.  
  
They ran into each other several times, but only when he was  
in his human form. She tried repeatedly to talk to him, but  
he always edged away.  
  
He denied her claim that he was really Icarus, and told her  
to leave him alone. He also told her that she was crazy if  
she thought he'd be interested in someone who spent half her  
time as a guy.  
  
From those conversations, she reached several...  
interesting... conclusions. One, because of his rudeness,  
she was certain that he was in fact Icarus (this is  
emphasized by flashbacks). Two, that his memory was somehow  
being blocked. Three, he had at least temporarily fought  
off his curse (completely unfounded, and her view of what  
the curse is was rather amorphous). And four, that if she  
was going to win his love again, she'd better find a way to  
ditch Orion.  
  
To accomplish her goal in point number four, she decided to  
do the logical thing. She made a pact with Uranus, the  
ruler of her enemies, in order to gain an independent form.  
  
Needless to say, there were unintended consequences that  
weren't exactly pleasant.  
  
The movie showed her romance with Tarou (who doesn't realize  
that it's her in her new body) progressing well, if slowly.  
It made it obvious that despite his protests, he really  
loved her deep down and that they were destined to be  
together.  
  
Unfortunately, her former friends and allies were now  
getting their collective asses kicked. She saw several of  
the fights, but did nothing. If she ever used her powers,  
she'd lose her temporary body and be stuck with Orion again.  
  
In the climax of the movie, she was walking with Tarou when  
they stumbled onto a battlefield.  
  
By this time, Tarou knew who the bad guys are, and he  
ditched Artemis (who he assumed didn't know about his   
transformation) in order to transform and head into battle.  
  
He was getting killed.  
  
Believing that he permanently abandoned his own humanity in   
an attempt to rescue her and her friends, she abandoned her  
newfound freedom in order to save him and her allies.  
  
After she won the battle, she gave him a tearful goodbye  
speech. She will never truly be a whole woman, and he will  
never be free of the Minotaur that curses him. The two will  
live on forever, cruelly separated by fate.  
  
The movie ends on a sad note with the two of them thousands  
of miles apart, but looking back toward each other  
longingly. Tarou is of course in his minotaur form.  
  
{{{{{  
  
Not long after they left the theater, Tarou turned to look  
at Kasumi. When he spoke, his voice was filled with  
disgust.  
  
"I don't see why you're crying, you never had to talk to the  
delusional twit."  
  
She looked up at him through her tears.  
  
"How can you be so heartless? She loved you. How can you  
say you didn't feel anything in return."  
  
He snorted.  
  
"No, she loved some poor sap named Icarus. I was just a  
convenient target. Sure I felt sorry for her, but that's  
it."  
  
"But still..."  
  
"What, you mean you've never dealt with an unwanted crush?   
That's hard to believe."  
  
"Well, there was that Tatewaki boy, but he was just so  
silly. I don't think he was ever serious."  
  
"And what makes you think I ever took little miss 'love and  
justice' seriously?"  
  
Kasumi giggled.  
  
"She is a little... odd."  
  
"Feh. A little? How 'bout a lot."  
  
Neither of them seemed to notice that they were holding each  
other's hands as they headed back to the Dojo.  
  
}}}}}  
  
[outside the gate of the Tendo home]  
  
Tarou's breath caught as he looked down into Kasumi's eyes.  
They had been standing outside the gate for a couple minutes  
now, hesitating awkwardly. Yesterday, she was an unwanted  
burden. A few hours ago, she was a tool to get back at Tofu  
a little more. Right now, with that soft look in her eyes  
and that shy blush on her cheeks, she was making thought  
impossible.  
  
As he leaned forward, he wondered somewhere in the back of  
his mind just what her lips would taste like.  
  
The gate opened. He didn't jump out of his skin, but it was  
a very close thing.  
  
It wasn't too surprising that someone from inside the house  
interrupted them.  
  
The fact that they were being interrupted by a police  
officer was a bit of a surprise.  
  
"Saotome Tarou."  
  
"Umm... yes?"  
  
"I have a warrant for your arrest for the assault of Dr.  
Tofu Ono..."  
  
End Chapter  
  
[][][][]  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
And the quote I censored in last week's Author's Notes was -  
"No one has more potential to be dangerously stupid than a  
man who knows he's right."  
  
Tarou only has a lot of common sense if he's actually right.  
He's generally angry, single minded, and arrogant. He also  
has blind spots larger than most oceans. Never having to  
deal with the name 'Pantyhose' has blunted his edges a  
little in this story, but he's still the same somewhere deep  
inside (in my opinion). I'd say his upcoming jail time  
might be evidence that he does still, occasionally, make  
mistakes. If nothing else, it shows that the world doesn't  
always play by his rules.  
  
Or did you think I'd just have Tofu kick his ass?  
  
Oh, and for those of you who are wondering, the "Saber  
Stars" is my thoroughly un-original annoying new parody. I  
needed magical girls in mini-skirts to explain Tarou's  
willingness to beat the daylights out of cute girls. The  
whole Orion/Artemis deal was set up because it just wouldn't  
be right to have a Ranma 1/2 story without the obligatory  
gender-confusion.  
  
I considered making this a Sailor Moon crossover for a  
while. I was actually going to have Haruka play Ukyou's  
role. To a degree anyway - I wasn't going to change her  
preferences. She'd have been Tarou's fiance, his former  
childhood friend, and also a rival for Kasumi's affections.  
Not that Kasumi would have realized it. I decided after a  
while that any Sailor Moon crossover was, inherently, a bad  
idea. No matter how entertaining that particular love  
triangle could have been.  
  
Oh, and I realize that I'm telling more than I'm showing in  
several places, but I don't think it would have helped the  
story if I'd tossed a screenplay into the middle of it. The  
movie was a way to have one of Tarou's ex-girlfriends  
embarrass the hell out of him, and show Kasumi a side of him  
she'd never have thought to look for.  
  
After next week, it isn't guaranteed that I'll have internet  
access in the immediate future. I just did the 'getting a  
job' thing, and now I'm doing the 'finding an apartment'  
thing because of the 'you can't housesit after the owners  
come back' thing. If I literally can't post for a while,  
I'll still write. I'll just release the intermediate  
chapters in bulk when I get back.  
  
Of course the 'getting a new job' thing is interfering with  
my 'more or less infinite free time' thing, but so far it  
just means I'm tired and I don't play as many video games.  
  



End file.
